Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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