It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize