Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
