Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
