i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
