i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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