i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
