So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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