Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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