he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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