there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
