You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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