wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
