i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
