this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
