Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
