she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
