I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
