therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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