Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...

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  (805): Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head... http://tfl.nu/1do3
  Replies (36) Good night (1170) Bad night (3465) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.

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  (314): so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for. http://tfl.nu/ue3g
  Replies (16) Good night (3992) Bad night (823) Order T-Shirt
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?

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  (912): Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance? http://tfl.nu/favq
  Replies (39) Good night (4752) Bad night (797) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"

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  (402): They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman" http://tfl.nu/zber
  Replies (36) Good night (3659) Bad night (723) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high

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  (785): turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high http://tfl.nu/v57y
  Replies (20) Good night (1295) Bad night (5092) Order T-Shirt
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  (325): View more from Texas

  I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.

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  (325): I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well. http://tfl.nu/zrfa
  Replies (19) Good night (6738) Bad night (1185) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight

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  (336): I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight http://tfl.nu/7krg
  Replies (8) Good night (885) Bad night (3366) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it

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  (201): I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it http://tfl.nu/a65q
  Replies (16) Good night (3771) Bad night (870)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.

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  (225): I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave. http://tfl.nu/w0e5
  Replies (20) Good night (895) Bad night (2281)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again

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  (509): With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again http://tfl.nu/qu3m
  Replies (3) Good night (672) Bad night (934) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.

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  (973): Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless. http://tfl.nu/9nhz
  Replies (13) Good night (3537) Bad night (611)
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  (858): View more from California

  He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him

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  (858): He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him http://tfl.nu/yvui
  Replies (12) Good night (2154) Bad night (535) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.

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  (803): My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please. http://tfl.nu/htsn
  Replies (5) Good night (938) Bad night (445) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy

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  (315): i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy http://tfl.nu/pdy7
  Replies (8) Good night (1782) Bad night (592) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'

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  (425): we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul' http://tfl.nu/04nj
  Replies (3) Good night (906) Bad night (311) Order T-Shirt

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