Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale

(401): View more from Rhode Island

at least we're not in new jersey

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(612): i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale (401): at least we're not in new jersey http://tfl.nu/f78q

Replies (59) Good night (888) Bad night (1747)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off

(617): View more from Massachusetts

he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.

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(919): i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off (617): he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich. http://tfl.nu/ubgv

Replies (28) Good night (2772) Bad night (839)
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(+44): View more from England

Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,

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(+44): Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work, http://tfl.nu/5a46

Replies (48) Good night (867) Bad night (2459)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol

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(602): I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol http://tfl.nu/1jiz

Replies (21) Good night (1374) Bad night (5227)
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(817): View more from Texas

Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.

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(817): Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch. http://tfl.nu/y4b9

Replies (20) Good night (782) Bad night (6961)
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(513): View more from Ohio

i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.

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(513): i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot. http://tfl.nu/7qf7

Replies (30) Good night (3854) Bad night (2908)
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(518): View more from New York

wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision

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(518): wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision http://tfl.nu/37aw

Replies (11) Good night (5928) Bad night (588)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You know how to spell recollection?

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(724): You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there (412): You know how to spell recollection? http://tfl.nu/3vjh

Replies (16) Good night (5549) Bad night (1439)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.

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(218): time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink. http://tfl.nu/47ui

Replies (15) Good night (4204) Bad night (1247)
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(469): View more from Texas

I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.

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(469): I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over. http://tfl.nu/vab8

Replies (13) Good night (977) Bad night (4002)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.

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(612): she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different. http://tfl.nu/v2bl

Replies (2) Good night (1022) Bad night (432)
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(435): View more from Utah

When did we convert life to cartoon?

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(435): When did we convert life to cartoon? http://tfl.nu/wmk0

Replies (3) Good night (810) Bad night (451)
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(626): View more from California

Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy

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(626): Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy http://tfl.nu/8u1j

Replies (2) Good night (698) Bad night (1686)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.

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(405): Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick. http://tfl.nu/t0hp

Replies (6) Good night (1001) Bad night (340)
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(801): View more from Utah

Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?

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(801): Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth? http://tfl.nu/nqhu

Replies (1) Good night (291) Bad night (573)

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