Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on

  (384): View more from

  How come?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message

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  (312): You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on (384): How come? (312): Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message http://tfl.nu/r9u6
  Replies (29) Good night (706) Bad night (1739)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  What? You're not speaking real words.

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  (423): I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me (617): What? You're not speaking real words. http://tfl.nu/o2go
  Replies (30) Good night (1101) Bad night (2782)
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  (323): View more from California

  I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.

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  (323): I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache. http://tfl.nu/t0k5
  Replies (13) Good night (5885) Bad night (791)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..

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  (432): So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone.. http://tfl.nu/o0ep
  Replies (18) Good night (765) Bad night (4423)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it

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  (651): i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it http://tfl.nu/fv1k
  Replies (18) Good night (5012) Bad night (1371)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.

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  (240): Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea. http://tfl.nu/4ze6
  Replies (41) Good night (5474) Bad night (3646)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"

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  (831): Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?" http://tfl.nu/5mox
  Replies (19) Good night (3542) Bad night (1394)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.

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  (860): Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall. http://tfl.nu/ht1g
  Replies (4) Good night (1282) Bad night (966)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.

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  (651): I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like. http://tfl.nu/5ic3
  Replies (2) Good night (652) Bad night (944)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.

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  (561): I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you (860): I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this. http://tfl.nu/r7r6
  Replies (5) Good night (1491) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am

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  (602): I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am http://tfl.nu/mg4n
  Replies (4) Good night (693) Bad night (1069)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?

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  (360): why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends? http://tfl.nu/xe6r
  Replies (2) Good night (705) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?

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  (209): Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery? http://tfl.nu/cvq8
  Replies (8) Good night (581) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!

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  (518): I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100! http://tfl.nu/g89y
  Replies (3) Good night (459) Bad night (196)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.

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  (352): He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes. http://tfl.nu/iekj
  Replies (1) Good night (713) Bad night (174)

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