Texts From Last Night

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  (319): View more from Iowa

  addddeeerrraaaallll.

  (641): View more from Iowa

  ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.

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  (319): addddeeerrraaaallll. (641): ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help. http://tfl.nu/xlcd
  Replies (14) Good night (1688) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.

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  (918): I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did. http://tfl.nu/i39w
  Replies (13) Good night (3107) Bad night (1432)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.

  (406): View more from Montana

  And we all know God doesn't like sinners.

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Amen.

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  (701): The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out. (406): And we all know God doesn't like sinners. (701): Amen. http://tfl.nu/nq0i
  Replies (14) Good night (6742) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...

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  (561): Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend... http://tfl.nu/snfb
  Replies (23) Good night (1398) Bad night (4651)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.

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  (931): How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you. http://tfl.nu/giys
  Replies (7) Good night (3458) Bad night (1276)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!

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  (610): Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?! http://tfl.nu/1su6
  Replies (9) Good night (2905) Bad night (961)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.

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  (802): If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care. http://tfl.nu/zmsa
  Replies (11) Good night (1197) Bad night (1989)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone

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  (207): I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone http://tfl.nu/crvf
  Replies (2) Good night (1064) Bad night (1319)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.

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  (303): I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time. http://tfl.nu/ridr
  Replies (12) Good night (662) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.

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  (574): It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers. http://tfl.nu/dqn1
  Replies (3) Good night (710) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle

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  (516): Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle http://tfl.nu/gy3s
  Replies (2) Good night (1138) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations

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  (413): Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations http://tfl.nu/s70c
  Replies (2) Good night (400) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.

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  (506): He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep. http://tfl.nu/ars8
  Replies (1) Good night (557) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (938): View more from

  I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.

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  (938): I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace. http://tfl.nu/4pq2
  Replies (1) Good night (458) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.

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  (336): he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded. http://tfl.nu/l70w
  Replies (3) Good night (1034) Bad night (320)

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