Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
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It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
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Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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