Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
it glows. i had to have it.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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