what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
