I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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