They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
