how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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