She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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