I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
