He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize