Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Girls should come with a carfax report
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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