is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
