Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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