they need to just BURY HIM!
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
