school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
