I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
