Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize