so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
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Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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