make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize