what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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