My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
im holly from the hills drunk
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
How does it feel to date your dad?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
