A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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