I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
