how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
