ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
