yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
