i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
tell me about the fingering
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
