weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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