That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
