I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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