You work out of a Hotel?
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
