That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
