I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
