HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
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Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
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He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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