there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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