I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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