it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Come on in and take your pants off
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