what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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