I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
