I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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