I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
