I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
