Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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