I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
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THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
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This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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