and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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