You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
