Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize